Welcome back for another week of tropes! Meeghan Reads is hosting this week’s top ten topic, and it’s all about tropes this month, though this week is specifically ones that I don’t like, and I feel like these are all going to be expected? I’m pretty loud about what I don’t like in books, and I feel like the tropes that I don’t like are ones that make sense. And because Meeghan only does five, I’m also only going to do five because there’s a lot of trope talk about to happen this month.

miscommunication

Catch me literally never accepting miscommunication in books again after both A Pho Love Story by Loan Le & Our Violent Delights by Chloe Gong. Oh, huh. Is it a coincidence that two Romeo & Juliet retellings were the ones that didn’t feature miscommunication, but rather a healthy dose of communication? I honestly don’t think so because now that I think about Shakespeare’s doomed lovers, they communicated a lot with each other. It was everyone else who didn’t communicate, and thus led to all the bad. Well, I guess Juliet did pretend to die without telling Romeo, but whatever.

I hate miscommunication. It’s a shitty trope that just spells poor writing because there are a million other plot points you could have used for conflict, but no, let’s not let our characters talk to each other. It’s trash, and I hate it.

love triangles

Also catch me never falling for a love triangle again after Queen of Air & Darkness by Cassandra Clare, I mean, are you even kidding me? That is the only love triangle I will accept. I don’t remember who first said it, or who I first saw it from, but there was someone somewhere on the Internet who was like, “It’s not a love triangle, it’s an awkward V.” AND LIKE?? They’re right, and every writer whose ever claimed to have a love triangle that isn’t Clare should weep.

If you Person A is in love with Persons B & C, but Persons B &C aren’t also in love with each other, guess what. That’s a fucking V. See! Person A is hanging out there at the bottom with Persons B & C just not doing anything but hating each other. You know what’s better? When Cristina realizes that not only does she like Mark, but she’s starting to develop feelings for Kieran, but Mark & Kieran dated back in the day, and there’s still a lot of sexual tension between them, so instead of just wallowing about, they all decide to just love each other??

I AM DECEASED

chosen one

I’m over it. I don’t care if you’re special. In fact, I like you better if you’re not. You know who I love? Elisabeth from Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson because she’s the most unspecial ever. She’s just swinging around her sword, mad that people are disrespecting the library, and falling in love with a magician, okay, and she’s tripping over her dress while she does it. Give us more of that. I don’t want whatever that bullshit is in Claire Legrand’s trilogy, no thanks, keep your snowflakes, I’ll take Sirscha in the Shamanborn series by Lori M. Lee being like “what the fuck am I supposed to do now????”

Which is interesting, right, because one could argue that Sirscha is a chosen one, and I can get behind that, but her reaction to it is so different. She’s not immediately fawning all over herself, like look at how powerful I am honor me ooooooh (can you tell how much I hate Rielle), but instead is just like–

asshole love interest

You know, it’s been a while since I last shot myself in the foot, but I hate Cardan. I don’t like Jude, either, so don’t get on me for that. Truthfully, there’s not a single character I do like in The Cruel Prince trilogy by Holly Black, and I still can’t explain why I read The Wicked King in an absolute fever before preordering The Queen of Nothing, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. We’re here to consider the fact that Cardan is the literal worst. He’s abusive, manipulative, cruel, downright dangerous, violent and volatile, obnoxious, and toxic as fuck. And I swear to Satan, but having a hideous childhood does not excuse the person he’s become, so nope, no thanks, Cardan is a horrific person, and I don’t understand why people fall to their knees about him as a love interest. GOODBYE.

This is going to segue way perfectly into my next one, too, but I hate Matthew Clairmont! Oh, so much, I just hate him, which is very weird for me because I’m rewatching the first season of A Discovery of Witches, and I love him so much in it because the TV show was like, “Misogyny and emotional abuse and I hurt you because I’m a predator in the 21st century?? Nahhhhh.” Show!Matthew is wonderful. Book!Matthew? GAGGGGGG, that man is disgusting, and I wish him ill.

vampires

Hi, my name is Mary, and my favorite mythical creature is also the one I don’t want to see in books anymore if you’re going to do the following:

• “I cannot control the monster inside of me, so I’m going to attack you now.”
• #toocoolforeveryone
• knows everything & everyone
• lore? what is lore??

The first one can be summed up with Matthew Clairmont. It’s gross, it’s outdated, why are we still letting our vampires get away with emotional abuse? They’re hundreds of years old, they should 1000000% be able to control themselves by now. And too cool? I’m sorry, but if I threw a bag of coins on the ground right now, I’d be able to stroll past a vampire without getting harmed because they’d have to compulsively count the coins, y’all aren’t cool.

Knowing everything and everyone?? Bitch, what vampire didn’t take a nap for two centuries because they were so fucking sick of the world? You’re telling me that vampires were awake and aware of their surroundings at all times? L OH FRICKING L. And, I know that I break this one because I have a vampire that can walk in the sun, but I don’t like stepping away from the core pieces of lore. Only one of my vampires can walk in the sun, and I put a lot of thought into it, and it’s not possible for any of the vampires after him (yes, he’s the first), and that’s part of the charm, guys. Vampires being heralds of the night is the aesthetic!