I truly did not realize how hard this week’s That Artsy Reader Girl topic was going to be. Like, come on, folks, get with the Fall Out Boy program. OH LORD, I saw this meme the other day, hold please.

I found that way faster than I thought I was going to. I was going to try to do all books that I’d already read, but it was hard enough getting five, so we’re doing half and half because ya girl apparently doesn’t read a lot of books with long titles unless they’re nonfiction.

I saw this meme once that was like “a (blank) of (blank) and (blank) can be just about half of your bookshelf” and it’s so true, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still wholly love titles like A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown. It’s a good formula! I’m always like oh a what what and a what now. It’s the same as listing out your characters in the formula “a thief, a rebel, a prince”–I truly cannot explain why that’s always going to get me, but anytime I see it, I’m like YES THANKS.

I tried to not just stick to witchy nonfiction books like Seasons of Moon & Flame: The Wild Dreamer’s Epic Journey of Becoming by Danielle Dulsky, although it would have been very easy to write this list if I had. I didn’t want to because it felt a bit like cheating, which, I mean, this is a list of books with long titles, so I really don’t know how that’s cheating? Look, I don’t know, don’t ask me questions, just go read every Danielle Dulsky book in existence.

Sia Martinez and the Moonlit Beginning of Everything by Raquel Vasquez Gilliland is one of those books that I very recently picked up in a bookstore and put down. I had way too many other books that I already didn’t need in my hands, and I recently purchased an influx of contemporary books, so even though this had a bit of aliens and magical realism in it, I just couldn’t convince myself to buy it. But that title and gorgeous damn cover is making me regret that.

I had to include Waking the Witch: Reflections on Women, Magic, and Power by Pam Grossman on here if I was including Dulsky because this book–THIS BOOK. It makes me want to shake my fists at the sky (for a good reason), and I am never going to forget the body monsters chapter for as long as I live. Like, damn. I have this dream of creating a workshop that centers around forgotten or misconstrued women like Lilith & Eve, and reworking their magic into something honest and wild, and I’ll definitely be using this book whenever I get around to actually creating it.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow doesn’t actually feel like a long title compared to the rest of these, but this topic was really hard, y’all! I had to make some exceptions (there’s another below) and go with a bit shorter titles because this is still longer than most of the books I read. Plus, the title just takes over the cover, so it feels longer than it actually is.

The Death and Life of Zebulon Finch, Volume One: At the Edge of Empire by Daniel Kraus was, of course, the first book I thought of for this list. I mean, look at that stupidness. And you could argue that the whole beginning prior to At the Edge of Empire is completely unnecessary and not part of the title because then I should have LOTR on here and every other book that’s got a series title, but I don’t think I’ve ever really seen the series title as prominent on the cover as Zebulon’s? Plus, I just refer to this duology as Zebulon Finch, and half the time I forgot what the individual books are called, soooo.

From the Desk of Zoe Washington by Janae Marks is my other cheating one because it’s really not that long, but the cover is so adorable, and I love the idea of this book, and the title is all big and bam that I decided to include it anyway. And I’m so excited that it ended up next to Strange Birds because these two books are so fitting together! I haven’t read this one yet, and I really need to get on it.

Admittedly, I definitely don’t refer to Strange Birds: A Field Guide to Ruffling Feathers by Celia C. Pérez by its whole title, and I’ve often forgotten exactly how the second half of the title goes, but I really like the full title when compared to the insides of the book because it’s really quite fitting. For a number of reasons, actually, now that I’m thinking of it.

I completely forgot what The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall was about, which is not all that unusual because I generally forget what every book is about until I start reading it, but now that I’ve reminded myself, I’m like? Go buy this right now? The heck are you waiting for? QUEER PIRATES, Y’ALL.

Annnnnnd, closing out this motley gang with a preorder I am very excited to read during spooky month–Vampires Never Get Old: Tales with Fresh Bite by Various. You could have just pitched this to me as brand new vampire stories in a world where vampires are finally getting back to awesomeness again, and I would have been hooked, but then drop a whole ton of fantastic authors in it and give it a badass cover? TAKE MY MONEY!

Have I mentioned Zebulon Finch enough times
that you’re starting to wonder if maybe it’s worth checking out?