All I’ve ever wanted is to host my own damn tea party, and since that’s definitely not happening for a long while, it’s time to start dreaming. This week’s That Artsy Reader Girl topic is all about bookish parties, so I’m going to live vicariously through my own dreamt up bookish party virtually.

I recently learned how to make my own macarons, and they’re surprisingly easy. Honestly, the hardest part was getting the filling right, but I chose a lemon curd filling, which I had to put on the burner twice after it didn’t thicken enough, and that was what gave me the most trouble. And obviously, I’ve still got ways I want to improve the macarons themselves. My feet didn’t rise that much, a few of them cracked, and they weren’t even. But I’d like to think that by the time I actually get around to having a bookish party, macarons will be old hat, and I’ll have a whole tier of different flavored ones.

And what’s the point of pastries if you don’t have copious amounts of tea? Every time someone visiting our house says they want tea, my whole family shouts that they have to actively go into my room so they can see the insanity. You can’t just say you want tea in this house. I have a tea for every possible situation. Black, green, white, oolong, puerh, herbal–you name it, I’ve got it. Thus, I’d have not just a single teapot with a single type of tea. I’d probably have stations for tea testing. Little shot glasses to figure out what you liked best, and then there’s the teapot for it.

Obviously, I’m all about food, and we haven’t even gotten to actual bookish stuff yet, but you can’t just have macarons! We need scones, as well, and many different kinds. Wild berry. Orange cranberry. Chocolate chip. Apple cinnamon. Scones with frosting. Scones with clotted cream. Scones with jam. Sure, we can have madeleines and cookies, too, but there’s got to be scones.

I think we’re all catching on by now that my “bookish party” is actually a tea party, which is really just an excuse to make everything Mad Hatter-themed. Don’t worry, there are going to be other bookish elements, but the real decorations and aesthetic would be completely centered around the Mad Hatter’s tea party. There would be empty frames everywhere, stacks of teacups, a sleeping mouse magically suspended in a cloud overhead, clutching an umbrella, a pile of eat me drink me treats, and probably cupcakes that were half-painted red.

Temporary Dregs tattoos? HECK YEAH. Sure, we can have other temporary tattoos, too, but the most important ones are the Dregs ones. Maybe even face-paint. Want to look like the too-clever fox? Now’s your chance. Want a crow eclipsing half your face? Let’s do it. Want to swear your undying loyalty temporarily? HECK YEAH.

Here me out, guys. Edible crystallized flowers. What’s more fae than that? I recently discovered these in a witchy recipe book that my friend got me, and I need those in my life as soon as possible. It’s going to be the most extra, most aesthetically pleasing thing I’ve ever done, and I can’t wait. I’m gonna say it again. Edible crystallized flowers. OKAY.

If you liked this, then read this! There has to be a section for book recs since this is a bookish party, after all. I’m totally chill with it not being books, too. If you liked Six of Crows, watch Peaky Blinders! But a place where people can either just sit to chat about what books sound like other books, or a place where people can write down their recs in a jar, and then maybe we can play a game where we chaotically shout out what books are similar to those in the jar. This could get wild pretty fast.

Back to food! Look, I think about it pretty much consistently, so this shouldn’t be surprising. In addition to the homemade macarons, scones, edible crystallized flowers, and, uh, actually ALL the other Alice in Wonderland-themed treats, too, we’re probably going to have to be rolled out of this party, but we’re also going to have Harry Potter themed treats. Chocolate wants, Bertie Bott’s, a Happee Birthdae Harry cake, tiny treacle tarts, sorting hat cupcakes, the works, guys.

Let me take this appropriately-timed opportunity to remind you that I am trash for Morgoth & Sauron’s eternal undying love for each other, so I think we should also have a fanart auction. Apparently this thing has gone global? Anyway, we’re definitely going to have everyone in the world at it so that all artists can auction off their amazing fanart, including my favorite Morgoth/Sauron artist, Phobs, of which I will buy everything, and y’all can just have your Raven Boys fanart, okay bye.

And lastly, as a party favor, you’ll leave with a blind book date! You can look at them throughout the party, but you can’t take one until you leave, so I feel like everyone is going to be lingering at this table off and on so they can have multiple choices just in case. And if you think you know what it is, then you don’t get to take it! Let this be an honest blind book date party favor because that’s when the real magic happens.

What would your bookish party look like?